I am talking to this girl I dated once and things seem Ok

I am talking to this girl I dated once and things seem Ok.

The story is this, She was my brothers Therapist and I started going out with her. My Brother is handicap and she also would drive him around. One day my sister cought her kissing him on the lip, When I question her she stated that all she gave him was a peck on the lips. After that i walked away and it felt uncomfortable.

I kept seeing here becouse she was taking care of my brother so since I don’t hold any grudges i kept talking to her. After a while she left to Columbia and now she is back. My brother went back to my country so she called me and we started to go out. Last weekend we went out and we had some drinks so their was some touching and kissing but no (Sex). so the next day she tells me that she felt somewhat bad and that we should take it slow. She also feels bad that my family don’t like her (My sisters). So that worries her. I told her that is not up to my family who I should be seeing or who I should be talking too. so we have been talking and going out but everytime we talk she is alway trowing hits abut sex but when I try to act to the hints she tells me not to do that. When I try kissing her she always gives me the chick and when I try holding her hand she just raps her arm around mine. Please Help, I am confuse and don’t know what to tell her becouse I feel she is just playing games. I am 35 and she is 25.

ANSWER

Many people are confused about their sexuality. They are not sure if what they feel and desire is ok or not ok, so they are ambivalent, which means undecided about what is ok and not ok to do. All around them they see messages in the media showing sex everywhere, but most religions claim it is bad, dirty and sinful. So people are confused and conflicted about it. Your girlfriend sounds like such a person. Perhaps one minute she is interested, but the next minute she feels guilty about that. So she sends mixed signals to you, one minute it is yes, the next minute it is no.

Have a conversation about sex with her.

Discuss what she feels and believes, as well as what you feel and believe. Try to figure out if what you both feel and believe is because someone (priest, teacher, parent, etc.) told you that is what you were supposed to do, or if you really feel and believe it for yourself. Then notice where your feelings and beliefs are different.

Getting this kind of clarity will be a first step in sorting out the confusion so you can go forward with a mature, healthy, adult sexuality.

Sexy beautiful blonde woman lying in bed in sensual lingerie. Black and white photo

Then read some good sex education books together and explore some of the things mentioned in those books. Go on a learning discovery together. You might also consider taking some workshops together on the topic. Our books and our workshops would be good places to start.

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